...Sounds like the title of a piece I could read at Rachel Kramer Bussel's In The Flesh reading series. But what I'm getting at, borrowing my language from a line in the 2004 movie The Girl Next Door, is this:
The question I'm facing right now: If I go through with this, will I regret it?
I am trying my best to figure out how to handle a situation that I never wanted to find myself in -- and yet it has happened again and again. How do I express my feelings so that I may find inner peace without permanently damaging my relationship with another person? According to Kelly, a porn producer in The Girl Next Door, the first rule of politics is this: "Always know if the juice is worth the squeeze."
As for me, I cannot figure out the politically correct way to handle this. I do not want to burn bridges. Especially not this bridge. It's not like it's the Golden Gate but still this bridge is worth more to me than almost any other. But what about this island-unto-itself, my conscience?
Can that be worth more than this bridge?
Sorry if I'm losing you amidst all these rambling thoughts. It's 1:54 a.m. at this exact moment and I cannot sleep yet I am not fully awake.
Now it's 1:55 a.m.
And I am no closer to a solution than I am to sleep. I wish someone would give me a remote control for my brain.